HOT TUB TIME MACHINE  REVIEW

A hot tub causes the time travel of four friends from 2010 to 80’s, but why?

There was absolutely no endeavor made throughout the movie to explain as to what happened and what was the real secret behind the sudden transformation of the ‘hot tub’ into a time

machine except a few conversational blah-blahs that the characters made amongst themselves.

Lots of loopholes and no tie ups in the plots was how the script resembled.

Suddenly a farting old man entered the screens proclaiming himself to be the repair man of the hot tub and also the ‘chosen’ one having the knowledge of the outrageous time travel. He kept on appearing-disappearing and reappearing illogically, throughout the movie and was the most irritating of all the characters.

If it was for fun that Steve Pink made a movie like this, that would have been fine but he tried to introduce some sentiments and preaching too which did not suit the mood.

Enjoying the overflow intensity of vulgar remarks and suddenly uttering some ‘my best friend’ lecture was how all the players in the movie fastened.

John Cusack needs to be selective now. 2012 did not work and neither this 2010à1986 works. He is a good actor but somehow isn’t made for comic roles. Dramas and thrillers are the genres which go hand in hand with his appearance and acting.

Clark and Craig are good but Clark was much better in Sex Drive.

Rob Corddry steals the show all round because his role was one which was as cynical as the plot of the movie. He was too good with all the one liners and insults. I enjoyed his act throughout the movie.

Coming back to the plot; what were they actually trying to show?

1. You cannot change things in the past even though you want to; as represented in the scene where John gets stabbed by his 80s girlfriend although he tries hard to change the situation.

2. Or was it; you can change you future by going back into the past? As happened in the last, everyone’s life becomes a sudden celebration due to a guy staying back in the past with full knowledge of future.

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE does not bore you but is unable to create any impression too. It is just see and forget types. You can have some laughs because of the dialogues; otherwise everything else is worth nothing.

I will rate this movie as: 2/5

WHAT IF?--> 1: Al Pacino plays Alan in Jumanji

This will be the start and I hope to continue posting the “What ifs” regularly.

A movie buff as I am and many others whom I encounter on regular basis have these vivid and wild imaginations

about substituting the characters in a movie

by other league of actors. So, carrying on the same “What if he/she played this role?” here in the post and so

me more to come by.

ROBIN WILLIAMS replaced by AL PACINO in JUMANJI

Provided the story remained the same, the dialogue writer and the screenplay writer would have needed to do some high class extra work.

EXAMPLE (changes in a few dialogues and situations of Alan Parrish, who was originally played by Robin Williams)

Original: You think that mosquitoes, monkeys, and lions are bad? That is just the beginning. I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even imagine. Things you haven't even see.

Revised (for Al): You think that mosquitoes, monkeys and lions are bad? Fuck, no! That is just the fucking beginning. I have seen things you have only seen in your fucking nightmare. Things you can’t even imagine and things you can’t even see, you motherfuckers… dickheads….

Of! Course Al will be as pissed off as he was in Glengarry Glen Ross, Scarface or even in And Justice for All. There would have been no mercy shown on the kids.

Original: Beware of the ground you stand, the floor is quicker than the sand. (Reading one of the game’s dogmas)

Revised: Beware of the ground you stand, the floor is quicker than the sand. The game is fucking with my brain. Game, don’t fuck with my brain. I don’t like people fucking with my brain. You are disemboweling me psychologically. Don’t fuck with my brain.

Alan (Al) shouts at the game (like how Al shouted in Chinese Coffee) while his feet start to sink in the mystic sand. He keeps on shouting at it rather than figuring out what to do next. The next moves are devised by other characters.

Original: When, Sarah Whittle says: I knew this was going to be a bad day.

Alan replies: Hey, come on, you'll be fine. We just have to keep our heads. Roll with the punches.

Revised: Alan replies: Listen girl, there are two kinds of people, those who can stand and face the music and those who can run for cover. You are fucking not allowed for the second so, better, get fucked!

Alan supposedly in love with the girl doesn’t show any empathy because he is angry of how the world has changed in the span he was not around. Everything seems to be more than as corrupt as it was during the times of Serpico.

Hence the story would have moved with lots of anger and abuses, finally getting a ’+13’ and being the first movie made for children but not allowed for the children who could really enjoy it.

So I go by the choice of Joe Johnston, Robin was the best he could ever find!

Paranormal Nursery Rhymes

If U.F.O. sightings, alien experiences and the other paranormal events increase their frequency of occurrence, the children’s rhymes will no longer remain the same.

Twinkle Twinkle Little U.F.O.

Twinkle twinkle little U.F.O.,

Where you come from and where you go?

Up above the world so high,

Like a flying saucer in the sky,

Twinkle twinkle little U.F.O.,

Where you come from and where you go?

I see you everywhere in the news,

The days you miss the news are few,

Twinkle twinkle little U.F.O.,

Where you come from and where you go?

The scientists across world are many,

They keep on talking about you frequently,

China, America, Russia and Japan,

Seem to be your playing land,

If you do not visit any more,

About what will these people roar,

Twinkle twinkle little U.F.O.,

Where you come from and where you go?

HUMPY, THE ALIEN

Humpy, the alien came from the sky,

But Humpy, the alien did not know to fly,

All the U.S. marshals and all the U.K. men,

Couldn’t make Humpy to fly again.

BEE BEE BIGFOOT

Bee bee Bigfoot,

Can you tell me about your root?

Yes Sir, Yes Sir,

It is away in wild woods.

They say it is Canada,

And some state its U.S.A.,

I am not sure about my existence,

But go by what the rumors convey.

PAST LIFE REGRESSION: A PERSONAL TOUCH ON THE EXPERIENCE

Does it work?

Do we seriously have experienced something before this life?

Does the event in our past life affect this life?

All I can say, after experiencing the past life regression session is that it does make you feel good to be alive and leaves down a lifelong impression about what you were before.

Some episodes do seem to be connected but the life we live now and one that we had lived before appear to be moving in two parallel dimensions. You can feel the attachment but not necessarily guess your connection with it.

Due to the deep down hypnotic sleep, you tend to feel the joy, pain and remorse sometimes even physically. When you wake up from it, your limbs become heavy and if something you had seen made you cry, the tears roll down your eyes.

So what actually happens? Do we sweep down to memory lanes so much that we reach an era which we haven’t even seen in movies?

I was in 1923; people go as far as B.C.

It is not some magic or a trick that the therapist casts on you but it is the pwer of the brain which can even recapture something which you have never felt or thought in your wildest dreams. I am not saying that everything what you see resemble your past, with a rock solid surety, but one thing of which I am sure is that things are not all ‘made up’ by your brain.

Anyways, it depends on how you take everything you experience. If you believe it to be true, it is and if you don’t then it is not.

But ‘past life regression’ is undeniably worth an experience.

Do go for it if you get a chance.

INCUBUS: When the pains are many, the words appear to be so clingy!

This is really 'dark' but I tried hard to make it easy. Am still confused, why I wrote it.

There was a belief that something awkward is going to happen but no scent of it, and the intuitions which make you alert before the ‘grief filled meteors’ strikes, were helpless and unmoved.

It was scary as it was unexpected

And it made them think twice as they went to bed;

Whether they should continue the life full of miseries,

Or burn themselves and get mingled with dirt and death.

He rose up, sat down and started to talk,

In a closed room where silence camouflaged;

“Why to feel so much for someone who has lost capability to think, feel, emote and twine,

Let us cut short time spent in making the decision

And get advice from someone whose knowledge ranks higher in such sufferings and its reasons.”

His father too got up and so did his mother, who wept,

To see her daughter suffering from a mysterious disease,

That made the daughter’s behavior so uncommon and inept.

“You are right my son,

And the proffer doesn’t have any flaws,

My little daughter needs some help which we cannot endow.

My heart shatters and the body loses its life,

The pain is unbearable which despises me of my cry.

Do something to heal my daughter; of the miseries she is in,

Or burn the house with bodies four; let the family commit this final sin.”

“Oh! No father, do not worry any more,

My sister is a fighter, she is going to withhold.

Do not succumb to the wrath of fate on us;

We will fight as a family, together here after.

Our little lady will get fine;

She will live with us in our merry times.

Do not lose hope, these times are fleeting;

For as humans we should be capable of resisting.”

The conversation was snatched by a scream from the room aside,

As the little girl laughed and cried.

The mother ran to see what was causing such reaction

But she was forced to move out due to the girl’s outrageous actions.

She threw things at her, one of which was a knife,

It hit her in the hand and caused the mother’s outcry.

The father and son held the lady whose life was spent protecting her child

And now was bleeding due to the malady which equipped the girl’s mind.

The boy didn’t waste time as was decided;

A van came by with men in apron who guided;

They asked the family to step aside,

As they held the girl and forced her to subside.

The injected syringe, made a piercing effect in all of them,

As they saw their youngest member being taken.

Months passed by and so did the recovery steps,

The doctors finally gave green to the girl’s mental self.

That was a celebration in the house after a long time,

The mother cooked and decorated everything in according to her daughter’s like.

The son was happy, like no brother can be,

And the father shed some tears on his daughter’s reconciled sanity.

The charm returned and played around,

Everyone laughed as the princess again wore her crown.

That night the mother wept because of a heart full of happiness,

And the father wore the smile of ever gratefulness.

The family had fought a serious demon

And the boy as a soldier felt the blessings and honor.

The night happened early as good things stay but not for plenty.

After everyone slept, the boy woke up,

What he found was the scariest of all his nightmares.

The girl sat on a chair in front of the table,

Twisting and turning her neck in a way no human can ever.

She whispered in a low haunted voice;

“I am a maniac and no man can stand me by.”

Her face changed and the voice deepened,

She remained unaware of her brother’s presence.

Of some fear, melancholy, suffocation and grief,

The boy rose up and took hold of the girl’s cervix.

He tore her neck apart using his teeth;

The girl remained in the same miserable feat.

Finally the voice ended as the body was divided,

The monster in the boy revived as the one in his sister was wretched.

The night saw something more horning;

As the house which dreamt of happiness,

Finally subsided in the fires of mourning!

News, views and if everything is over some ridicules!

News, views and if everything is over some ridicules!

Everyday I look up for some great articles on life, language, light

And if possible some not so frustrating fight.

But what I get is a story of murder done six years before,

Where a girl killed her fiancée in order to meet the love she adored.

If this was not enough there was a photo profile,

Of all the disgraceful adds full of vulgarism and skin show.

Got irritated and stretched my view to some other portion,

Just to find an eight year old girl raped without any commotion.

A man turned into a man eater and a woman committed suicide,

The police remained clueless and the papers covered it wide.

There was a child caught in a manhole,

Where all the passers stood by,

The writers wrote and wrote,

But none had the sand to stop his cries.

Then I closed the leaf to read some decent sports,

And found a sports star getting married with full pomp and show.

Finally, no hopes and no changing attire,

I went through the section where climate is divvied,

Shocked and still was I in the same condition,

As the column read : "Contribute to the GLOBAL WARMING REASON!"

DANCE OF LIFE!!!

Do I need to explain my moves,
They simply express my moods,
Life long dance and life long music,

Sanity is so anechoic,
The breath behind the hush keeps me alive,
Do I need to explain the soul of my life?

Jeopardized and agonized,

Sometimes scurvy and unrelated,

I move across with a swing and jilt,

So unknown and mis-leaded.

Then too I cross the destine,

Falling from the feet of mine,

The fall produces one more sound,

Reverberates through the ground,

The jitters makes me lilt again,

As phoenix rises to fame;

And my dance stimulates the morbid drive,

Do I need to explain the soul of my life?

RANDOM: Not mine but thine shall be done!

I am not in a writing vein currently. But then someone told me that we need to keep on writing. Write not only words but also the actions and thoughts. It helps us stay in touch with our inner conscience. I do not have any questions to ask to anyone and truly speaking I have asked all the questions to myself so I am empty and blank.

I keep on repeating the same thing: “NOT MINE BUT THINE SHALL BE DONE!”

Then I keep quiet and slowly but steadily silence and comfort wraps me with a serene joyous peace. Throughout the day I repeat the same thing and feel the same mysticism.

There are few sentences which have got this special magnetic effect. They have got the unworldly and heavenly quality with them. Whether they make ‘conversation with god’ easy or not, I do not know but they make you feel as if you have related something to GOD.

There was a SMS which was in Anu’s inbox. It read “miracles take time to get established so if you are yet persevering to make something out of you, do not worry, God has shaped your life himself”. I repeat and think about it always.

And as BRADLEY WALKER’S song “Love and Life” says:

‘I tried to stay on the straight and narrow
But I've walked a crooked path
And I've felt worthy of forgiveness
And deserving heaven's wrath
Right on the money and off by a mile
Ahead of my time and way out of style
But I'm hanging tough, I ain't had enough
I ain't giving up on life or love
Well I try to stay away from the bottle
But I've reached out for the glass
I try to pull back on the throttle
But I still run out of gas
I've been an angel, but never a saint
Hung with the devil, don't nobody faint
Cause I'm hanging tough, I ain't had enough
I ain't giving up on life or love.’

And then I add to it: NOT MINE BUT THINE SHALL BE DONE because I know you will never decide anything which will be hurting!

A CREEPER’S SHUDDER

And here I run to meet you forever,

Tearing the shallows of the might,

Wearing my eyes on the knuckles,

I run to come and mingle with your armor and sight.

Lost was I, feeling terrible, as I hung to the wall of the patio,

The creeper as I was, made me flow,

With the wind and the sunny dignified glow,

I dreamt of meeting you at the end of the edifice,

Where life will get a stance,

The place where my heart will find,

The beauty of your trance.

I was plucked and pestered by many,

Garbled by the windy bluff,

But my hopes were uncanny,

As I moved towards you like a buff.

Here I am,

Kissing your body,

Feeling the caress that you have to offer me,

And the pertinacity no longer remains meaningless,

As I am here to perish in my rootage.

ANU MALIK AND INDIAN IDOL: A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!!

Since the first season (2004-2005), apart from selecting a not so deserving singer as INDIAN IDOL, one thing which has always remained consistent with the immensely well-liked show is the judge ANU MALIK.

The talented jury members like SONU NIGAM, JAVED AKHTAR, FARAH KHAN, UDIT NARAYAN, KAILASH KHER, SONALI BENDRE and ALISHA CHENAI kept on getting recycled but “ANU JI” never left his supreme chair.

He kept on talking and media gave his kibitz a rank of being straight forward and cheeky. This increased his buoyancy and then in no time he started resembling an egoist and over confident being.

But there was always a pun; His innumerable irritating remarks and comments increased the TRP of the shows and so the bequest of slighting the participants and his fellow judges was continued with perfection by “ANU JI”.

“ANU JI” has got a habit of declaring results of INDIAN IDOL (though his prophecies are yet to come true). The audition rounds make him suggest the results of top 10 and if he finds a female participant beautiful, it can even be top 5. I personally doubt if he represents the whole of INDIA and if at all he does, then he can make up to the prime ministerial elections too.

One more fact about “ANU JI” is that he asks all the participants selected in the audition round to go outside the audition room and brag about themselves. In his words,

“BAHAR JAAO AUR BOLO KI MAIN NEXT ROUND MEIN AA GAYI HOON AUR SABKI BAND BAJA DOONGI.”

I am grateful to SALIM (one of the judges of II 5) to interrupt him while he was suggesting the same to one of the GIRL contestants.

“ANU JI”, “ANU JI”, “ANU JI”….. Why do you blow your own horn?

“If he is a good singer then I qualm my understanding about music,” said ANU once while all other judges were in favor of a singer and he was not.

“ANU JI” your understanding of music starts from getting motivated or in your ancient words, “getting inspired” and mixing the composition according to your willingness and finally releasing the track in the market.

“ANU JI” has one more trait, his caliber of insulting and fighting with his fellow jury members. He is not only good but a trend setter when it is about having ego clashes with others of equal or maybe better music sense than him.

INDIAN IDOL happened to copy the format of AMERICAN IDOL with full copyrighted authentication but ANU MALIK has never cared about it ever in his life.

Pick up a song which is famous and hum able and clothe it. That was his policy.

But then one charlatan always reverberates with the other.

So does INDIAN IDOL with “ANU JI”. They both have a mutual understanding which is beautified by the attention giving Indian public.

INDIAN IDOL & ANU JI: AN IDEAL MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!

amit mohan... :)

THE LIFE BEYOND LOGIC AND CALCULATIONS!!!

That is something which really intrigues me now and then.

What about the life beyond the extents of our grasp?

Is it a void if it can not be explained by SCIENCE?

Will take sometime to write about it.... this post was to notify about my current state of mind....

nowadays: I study and in free times either I laugh, love or feel lost!! :)

The three L's of my life iced by an S....

Feeling lost helps me a lot to think about world and worldly organisms.

Laughing makes me feel pretty and happy!

Loving is always good... Love my family and girl friend!! :)

Study helps you keep in touch with reality.... how important is it to be real anyways??? ... It is because the virtual world does not feed you sometimes (only sometimes).

THE LEGACY OF “TANTRA”,“NAGA SADHUS” & “MOKSHA”… DEBAUCHING THE SPINE OF FAITH

THE INNER WORLDS OF FAITH/SUPERSTITION

“MOKSHA” or “MUKTI” is no longer a HINDUISM myth or belief. Its potent nature has not failed to impress people all around the world of different religious faiths. The search for final liberation from the soul’s recurring transitions into life and death has attracted the attentions of man. “MOKSHA” is the Sanskrit word given to the emancipation of spirit from “SAMSARA” and the continuous suffering that it involves.

The concept was first developed in HINDUISM and later on its heritage was carried forward via BUDDHISM, JAINISM and now by the various spiritual gurus.

I was trying to recollect the facts associated with the attainment of MOKSHA and got to know that it is related with KUNDALINI and arising of SHAKTI, the goddess of power and fearlessness. KUNDALINI means coiled and is considered to be the hidden centre of energy placed at the end of the spine, the arising of which can result into a high level of enlightenment and the FINAL FREEDOM i.e. MOKSHA. There are particular stages required in the awakening of this secret and sacred source of energy. They involve definite ways of meditations which consists of PRANAYAMA, OCEAN BREATH, BREATH OF FIRE and regular practice of this, basically related to the four kinds of yoga techniques as mentioned in YOGATTATVA UPNISHAD.

The concept is pragmatic. Even if we leave the KUNDALINI awakening concept aside, the breath control yogic methods do help you to slow down the mental thought process and helps you to attain the peaceful substances.

Coming to what I feel an exaggeration and self declared strategies are TANTRA and SEXUAL RITUALS.

TANTRA states that the whole world is a play ground of goddess SHAKTI and lord SHIVA. The practice involves worship of SHAKTI through specific rituals involving MANTRA and YANTRA. Apart from these digestible ways there are few secret practices which involve sexual procreations, sepulchral in lieu of death and laxation that involves elimination of fecal wastes in form of vomiting and micturition.

Even relation of such phenomenon can cause nausea in a normal human but there are people who do believe on this. The recent SWAMI NITYANAND episode is an issue of great concern. The consent form which his followers signed had a thorough essence of TANTRA being practiced. It is said to believe that such sexual performance awakens the SUSHMUNA NADI and KUNDALINI rises upward within it.

Sex according to me is very personal for every human being and it should be maintained as it is because this is one of the many behavioral facts which separate a human from an animal and makes us a superior living beings and a better creation of god.

THE WORLD OF NAGAS

After mentioning all these beliefs or should I say credulous nature of YOGIC FAITHS, I would like to mention the NAGA SADHUS who made the front cover news of all the papers in the last thirty days when KUMBH MELA was in progress.

Austere, mystic and nomadic vicars are some descriptions used for the NAGA SADHUS who are believed to be the practitioners of YOGA and believed to be enlightened humans in search of MOKSHA. They are considered to have relinquished all the worldly attachments and pleasures including the sexual desires and live in forests, caves and temples all around INDIA.

Among the many clans of SADHUS like the JATA who carry swords, the AGHORIS who are expected to keep company of the ghosts and reside in the SHAMSHANS where the dead bodies are burnt; there are the NAGA SADHUS who are naked and non shaven wearing their hairs in form of thick locks. They are also called DIGAMBARAS.

NAGAS are considered to be a paradigm of renunciation. With their long hairs and ash smeared bodies, the NAGAS regard themselves as the illustrations of LORD SHIVA. They are even accompanied with ancient weaponries like TRISHULS, SWORDS and STICKS representing their warrior naturism. They smoke on CHILLAMS with marijuana and the blues eyes represent them being high, not due to some enlightenment but due to the dope.

The NAGAS make their public presence felt during the KUMBH by taking the holy bath in the GANGES in HARIDWAR.

They are the sole show stealers of the grand event and people flock from around the corners to see them.

The SADHUS and their unconventional ways have always left the world mesmerized. They feel to be holy because they are not concerned with the regular needs of a normal human. Anything which is different is appealing but to the extent where you are not aware of the grave secrets behind it.

MY INNER BELIEF

Speaking much without knowing enough can be fatal so I want to say that all my views are my feelings and not something which I have concluded through some extensive research work.

The only thing which seems to be rational in all the legends stated above is the YOGA and the breath control practices suggested by it as I have stated before. TANTRA and its secret rituals, the SADHUISM and renunciation of social life is not at all something which satisfies my senses.

All the religions around the world preach one thing in common; WE HUMANS ARE REPRESENTATION OF HOLY ON EARTH AND GOD CONSIDERS EACH OF US AS OWN. Being aware of this doesn’t require bringing such acute transitions in the life given to us by the almighty. It is equivalent being a non believer when you adopt something which is out of the flow. If a person is a devotee, he doesn’t need to reside in the caves with dismantled hair and ugly looks to impress the creator and achieve the immortality as MOKSHA.

The day I was born, I was told that GOD RESIDES IN BEAUTY, LOVE, HUMANITY, CARE, POSITIVITY and UNCONTAMINATION. I feel it is lucid to believe this than staying dirty and living on dope and scarcity.

We are not born humans to stop working and live like wanderers surviving on anything we get. With the size of brain that we are blessed with, we are here to create the wonders that god expected us to do while creating us. Not to waste our life for some hypothetical faith on MOKSHA.

It is great to keep one’s mind balanced but it is insane to go to such an extent just to meet some liberation. Why to? We were not born to think about the pains and hassles of life but to feel the beauty of the world and to enhance it.

The people who take the path of SADHUISM and TANTRA according to me are the most self-centered beings who are so much involved in their personal fulfillment that they just forget their duty towards HUMANITY, EARTH and OTHER LIVING BEINGS.

ARE THESE SO CALLED MYSTICAL THINGS OVER RATED?

With the vast media coverage of all the events involving the BABAS and the spiritual practices, we are giving these renunciates a big uplift to promote their legacy. According to them, they don’t need it but they have not shown any hindrances as yet to stop them being projected as celebrities and holy lots.

I think our media should stop this. Our country has a record population of citizens who don’t work and we don’t need any more. It is going to affect our economy more. 40% of earning mass cannot support 60% of such spiritual mobs.

India has to grow more and for that everyone needs to work, not to search some liberation from it.

THE FINAL VERDICT

If given the full authority I would love to delete the sects in our religions which are so widely misunderstood that they create something so not human. We cannot come closer to god by denouncing our loved ones and all our responsibilities or having some crude forms of sexual pleasure.

OUR COUNTRY NEEDS TO GROW UP AS A WHOLE. SWAMI NITHYANANDA and may be more will not let us do that. I am not against their personal lives and believe me I was speaking in favor of NITHYANANDA till I came to know that he was involved in TANTRIC practices.

TANTRA VIDYAS and all such things will never make your presence closer to god. They cannot. The way in which they defy the rules of being a HUMAN are massive. They create a devil out of a man.

I hope everyone realizes this someday or the other.

TO BE A BELIEVER OF GOD DOESN’T REQUIRE ANY PAINS, IT IS A GIFT TO ALL OF US. WE CAME WITH IT. WE CAME WITH THE FAITH ON ALMIGHTY.

JUST NOURISH IT AND ONE DAY YOU WILL FEEL THAT, THE TIME YOU WERE BORN IN THIS WORLD WAS THE HOLIEST AWAKENING.

THIS WORLD IS A GIFT AND EVERYTHING AROUND IS YOUR GIFT!

…..amit mohan

PS: If you like the post, please visit Indrowine's Curtain Raiser and Blog Post and give some comments which could help me frame a post on Traffic on Indian (PUNE) roads. 

Refer my last post here on Life's Lovely Cradle too.