Oct 29, 2007


While I am writing down here some of my feelings which i am having now...i can hear the song..."An Englishman in New York"....

"be urself no matter what they say,
am an alien, am a legal alien,
am an englishman in New York!!!"

Last night i never wanted to panic up to the limits i did...finally i am the one who faces it...the anger and the drown of blood...it has happened with me before but i don`t know why i can`t forget things...will it continue in this way always...will i never forget these people who actually did no good to my life...or probably the did some good...May be!!!

The thoughts and the conversation with one of my friends yester night!!

A:- " tum meri wajah se p. se baat nahi kar rahe ho, aise mat karo. mai ab to theek hoon na. aur aisa to nahi hai ki p. ke aane ke baad tum mujhe ek dam baat nahi karoge. do din mein ek baar bhi baat karoge to b chalega. main ek dam theek hoon. kasam se!"
(u r not talking to p. cause of me, don`t do this, i am fine now and it`s not like that after p. comes u will not talk to me at all, will talk at least once in two days. i am perfectly fine. swear!)

me:- "so jaao, zyada dimag mat khaao. Woh maara! For diya maine aaj. Chidhane ka naya record ban jayega aise to!"..he he he!!
(go to sleep and don`t eat my brain. bingo! today i crossed all the limits of teasing you!),,,lol!!!:)

then we had a talk...it was late and we were talking about something very serious concerning my past life and the talk seriously sent some shivers around in both of us...we were trying to discover some facts which will remain better undiscovered....it`s very sad and at the same time very traumatizing ...

"let the dilemma remain inside till you die, whether she was right or wrong!" this is what i said to myself when i was trying to strain my mind to know something which always remained unknown...

yesterday was something else...today i feel...i should seriously offer a prayer for her...

"God it`s fine with me,
i don`t know..and i don`t want to know
if it at all accepts someone so seriously,
just get her life on right tracks,
make her happy,
and above all,
find her some good soul mate on whom she can rely upon"....

A prayer from heart!!!...


one for myself....

"make me forget her completely at the last note,
i don`t want to remember her or even search her traces any more!"



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