Nov 13, 2007

RASPUTIN....10...:)

It doesn`t happen often that i wake up so early in the morning...like 6:30 or so....and it never happens that i start writing down so early like 8 in the morning!!!

I want to do something...but what...i am not coming to the conclusion....there are times when i conclude something specific for myself and after some hours start losing interest in it!!..Why this happens?....i don`t know!!!

I am too done with all the social networking sites....like orkut and shits!!!....I don`t know how to trust on people who can`t be seen and more often how to tell them about myself....

There were times when i used to be so addicted to all these that i used to sit 24/7 looking after and caressing my orkut profile and managing it....making it beautiful....increasing the number of friends and scraps....all these seem to be so very stupid now!!!...I have real people around me...who know me and whom i know...so why to waste so much time discovering the part of the world with a very translucent contact like internet???....

I haven`t yet planned my day....don`t know what i am going to do with it....whether i am going to sleep at night cause of being tired or just for the sake of sleeping??....

This emptiness is seriously kind of killing me and i am feeling void...more void than ever....i don`t know what to do...how to walk...how to stand...what to gain from the numerous books i am reading....nothing...

I so hate this phase....

I am just walking all around the house...on the terrace with a Paulo Coelho book in my hand...flipping some pages....reading...reading....reading....and continuously reading.....Seriously missing my old days...when i din`t have time even to think...days just shaped themselves...i never woke up with any plans...they just developed and finally i ended up at some pub or with a drink in my living room....cause of being tired with all the work or with all the talks....

Then they ask me....not to smoke!!!....
Smoking is not a mere addiction....it is a strength for me....it helps me kill all these thoughts...

But ya...somewhere it is affecting me...i know this....the regular pains in throat...the attacks...i don`t know how to quit this habit...cause it is very difficult to get away from things you get dependent upon!!!!!....
Then it is not just addiction....it becomes a necessity....


ALOHA....(no smiles today!!!)

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