For My Taaraa

Dear Taaraa,

I know you will never be able to read this. Being a cat, this is the one limitation you have. But, that's it! Apart from the one, you are complete and the most beautiful thing God ever made.

It is bad on my part that I can't make you feel how precious you are for me! I can't remember a single day you left me alone crying, but I do remember the numerous moments I left you alone.

I always thought that it is just a cat thing you do by sitting on my chest. When I chained all such moments, I saw the common string there. You do that only when you find me sad, lonely, or hurt!

It makes me feel proud that I adopted you when you were just a day old and took care of you. I hope you feel as good as how I do.

You are the one who made me feel loved and still do so. I don't know, rather I am sure I don't make you feel the same. I can't be enough apologetic for that.

Lastly, one thing is sure, you are the only one who makes me feel really proud of myself, and realize that there is someone who loves me unconditionally!

Thanks for being a part of my life,
A. M.

My Thoughts: Chapter 1: Someone Screamed!

“Let her go!”

 What?

“Dude, let her go!”

 Whom should I let go dude?

“Let the beautiful dilemma go!”

 Okay, is dilemma a lady? I never knew!

“Anything that creates an uncertainty is feminine!”

 Oh! Okay! Dude, keep it a little low. I am surrounded by females, here.

“Whatever! Should I continue or are you going to cry over the fact of dilemma being a female!?”

 Go ahead, I am zipped!

“I said, let her go. She is stopping us over here, trapped in your mind. Without us, it will be very difficult for you to regenerate.”

 And, who told you that I want to regenerate?

“Was that a question for me, your thought?”

 Oh, I forgot that you are my thought. I can’t confound you.

“Yup, correct!”

 Okay, continue!

“What to continue? This was it. Get her away from your system. I know, you have fallen in love with her. Can see her in you since past 4 years now! Nothing can be done till she is there. It is up to you how you clear things with her.”

 That’s it! This is how you are going to help me?

“Haven’t I already helped you? Now you know what you have to kiss good bye!”

 Am I supposed to laugh at it? Was that a joke?

“Do absolutely nothing till you get her out of your system! What you have to do next will be told by us. Do what you are being told.”

 And who are you? Bloody, the thought representative or something?

 Dude…

 Dude, I was just joking. Come back man!

 Dude…

 Don’t tell me that you left me in dilemma!

“See, this is what I was telling you. She is always there with you. Separate your ways man, else, no one or nothing can help you!”

 Okay!

  

 PS: Don’t shout at me for calling DILEMMA a feminine. It wasn’t me! 

My Thoughts: A Prologue

The thoughts deep inside me rise up, fighting for their existence.

I try to suppress them.

They cry out and I cry back, but they outnumber me!

I am alone and they are many. They have been there for a long time now. At first they were fighting against each other to gain my attention; now they are together, fighting with each other to become me!

They talk together; produce such a noise that deafens me. I try to realize what’s wrong but of no use as the sounds are way par my audible limit. I could just feel the hustle. Feel as if something inside wants to make a vent out of my body.

“Who are you?” I shout.

No answers!

“Who are you?” I shout again.

No answers again. And, I stop asking them.

How long will I have to live with them?

Why don’t they approach one by one?

I feel their pain. Can’t they feel mine?

Only pain can help us rise. We need to understand our pains. We definitely need to!

Nietzsche said, “God is dead!”

A lot of people around me, across the world, and in the movies are talking about GOD.

So I thought why I shouldn’t! 

This blog is still a personal and random notebook of my views; hence I hope that nothing written here is going to ignite any controversies.

(I needed to write this, although I know the limited visits my blog gets! :D)

Coming up to the title of this blog: “God is dead!”  

This is a famous quote by the German philosopher and poet, Friedrich Nietzsche. You can read more about him in Wikipedia. I need not mention why, when, and how many times did Fried use the statement in his works. What I want to do is write what I feel and where I agree with Fried.

Okay, let me start!

I was born and raised in a Hindu family with firm belief on a superpower who heads the universe and demands us to follow a certain set of protocols. I will be plagiarizing if I use the statements like “GOD punishes us if we don’t follow the rules” or “GOD is pleased if we worship him or fast for him or do a lot of other things like walking to a distant temple, bleeding in the course, getting sick after that and blah blah blah!” All these and many more countless philosophies related to the ONE and ONLY ALMIGHTY are still instilled in my brain.

I can’t break out of them, or should I say, I don’t want to!

The question now is, why! Why an educated person like me doesn’t want to get out of all these? Why?

You know what, it is very easy to site problems and criticize without paying any attention to your true self. A man who makes movies or writes, questioning all the hocus focus surrounding GOD cannot be a true messenger of the thoughts until and unless he/she is a firm believer of it!

I would love to ask them this!

Coming back to me, although I know somewhere that what I am doing is not necessarily going to act in the way people portray it, but I want to do it. Somewhere, it makes me positive and fills me with the energy needed to accomplish what I want to, or makes me strong to face the anti situations. That invisible force that I create (I agree upon this. I created my GOD and his strengths) assists me in moving through my life by being hopeful and positive.

Belief on GOD is an amazing thing. It is belief on HOPE. That is it! To do that if I go to a temple, chant some mantras, and fast on a day, what’s wrong with that?

What’s wrong with anything?

The only thing that is wrong in all this is the human interruption. There are a few who make us do what they want by hiding behind the name of GOD. And then there are some more who want to prove the first lot wrong by hiding behind their GOD.

All the fights going across the world are the result of this.

It is not worship; actually, it is nothing, it is not even close to being human. They are degrading themselves, moving in the opposite direction to become animals again probably. What effect they are causing is something more fearful. They kill and make others believe that what they are doing is right. All this and many more in the name of GOD! And, people believe them!

How disgusting can it be!

I sometimes feel disappointed being a human myself.

Who knows where this war of GOD will take us!

I would love to believe Fried.

God is dead!

His death might end this!

(I agree with not wasting milk as an offering and use it to feed poor.)

The Rise of Rebecca

REBECCA was born here: REBECCA

I sway with the wind, and the wind sways with me,

I dance with the hum, and the hum dances with me!

My hair floats in the thin air around,

And I rise, floating above the ground!

All the visions you had are shattered now,

You yourself are moved and are ready to bow!

Rebecca rises above the eternity,

Rebecca rises above the beings,

The one who was once just a creation,

Covers the distance and creates!

Rebecca creates, she creates!

DAY 1: Carpe Diem!

"Carpe Diem" or "Seize the day"!

This should be our life's daily mantra. We don't need anything else to live successfully. Do we? 

What does it mean?

It simply means, work through the day, win it, and get that beautiful good night sleep.

Split your life in these short journeys of a day each. Compliment yourself after completing everyone of these, thank god and everyone around you who made you live through it. Do one thing more, do not make plans for the next day while you go to sleep! Tomorrow will be a new day, a new life, and a new journey indeed! 

What you breath today should belong to it; keep tomorrow's breath reserved for tomorrow!

I have read more than a hundred, and collected somewhere around five hundred books having a great insight of time and life.

One thing that is common in all of them is this. 

Every thinker has advised the same through his/her literature. 

We have to give it all to our present because present is the only time we have strength on!

Let's try to live our day; forget the past, future is unpredictable, let's glide through our day!

Happy New Year (2015) to all you beautiful people around! I love you because that's all I have to offer to you! :)

Let me rhyme something before I end this:

A patch of cloud,

Three green streaks rising above the bay,

And a beautiful wood cabin where I stay,

Dancing with my angels of light and some dreams of clay!

Come join me to relish the lights,

Come join me to feel alive,

Come join me to sing and sway,

They say, "Have a Happy New Year",

I say, "Have it, come what may!"

1 Akela (Lonely)

I start writing after giving the keyboard a little friendly blow.

Dust has been ghosting my laptop’s keyboard for a long time now. I don’t remember the last time when I thought of writing something.

It is not that I am clear about what I have to write now. I just need to write something.

How enthralling it used to be, to stay alone and not be lonely!

Now it is different; I first get lonely before being alone.

Loneliness doesn't hurt me, but it somehow starts feeding on my physical self. 

Then I realize how important the people and their presence are!

I still can take care of myself, no extra effort required. I was so used to it before, it is still there! You know, you don’t lose what you get used to.

But, their presence adds that necessary spice to my somewhat bland life in which I work, I drink, I pray, I curse, I think, and I die!

Fakir, you were right my friend!

They do complete my existence.

There will be a no win, no loss situation without them,

How hysterical will be life without them!

MIRROR

Mirrors, they have this all abundant habit of making you feel wrong, and the day you start speaking it out, the bloody fucked up mirror cracks into pieces.

You feel sad for it but no need to be. This is good! It is called awareness. You are not here to act like an adhesive. It’s nice to break them to make them realize that they are bloody broken pieces of glasses glued together.

I never intervened in your damned mirrored life.

Why the hell did you come for me?

What I have was destined. It wasn't cause of you showing me my image in yourself. If not you, some other mirror could have got my glimpse.

Remember, whoever you are, you are a mirror. A fucked up imitator!

Do not intend to become me when you are not even close to it.

And now, you come up and fight for your existence!

You, who got a reason because of me?

You come to fight for your existence from me?

Go, get lost!

Get submerged in your stupid self.

Go and try to think that you give meaning to someone’s life!

I am done with you.

You bloody mirror!

The NEW SUN rises TODAY!

It is really hard to fight them!

They are all around you, looking for a tiny space to enter you and get it all corrupted once and for all.

You are there alone, standing, waiting for the beautiful dawn, but they are quick.

You are still busy with a hope to find it all and they deceive you, dupe you, and start ruling your being!

Those filthy things! They are everywhere!

You hate them, but still you have them. You permit them to eat you up. They feed on you because you feed yourself to them.

You need to come out of it today!

Yes, today is the day. No other day can be better than today!

THE NEW SUN RISES TODAY!

A Dear Need!

I so need to come back to blogging.

Years ago, when my English wasn't that correct, and when my thoughts were more than a lot, writing blogs was the only sigh of relief/freedom!

Now, I just miss the words altogether!

I don't know how to communicate to a blank page anymore!

Wait a minute!

Am I coming back to my true self yet again?

Are the Fakir and the Rasputin going to confuse me yet again?

How about a second edition of MORAF's Journal?

That was a quick peek into the past posts of Life's Lovely Cradle!

Hope to make many more of such memories; and did I quote this before "HOPE IS A REALLY GOOD THING"!

How About Resting a Bit?

How about resting a bit?

Talking to me for a minute, and speaking what you wanted to speak all these days, but no one ever heard it!

Or, something stopped you from telling it!

You want to know my story?

Okay, here I say what I want to say!

“I sometimes lie to make things easier for me. The intentions are always harmless; yeah, they are self centered, but harmless. I just want to avoid the truth for a moment, and end up screwing some other truths that might not have needed my avoiding!

 I know I do this!”

Today my guardian/guiding angel made me remember something.

She said, “There can be a few mistakes that you did without thinking of harming anyone and you can be very sure that you did not harm anyone. But, you might have harmed someone, somewhere! You might have taken a wrong turn that encouraged some other person, take his wrong turn that eventually would have killed a very innocent man.”

Life can be miraculous or tragic, everything depends on the way we align ourselves.

So, do you have something to say?

A Rich Man on the Move

In him they found a great friend, guide, and teacher.

Life is never easy. How can it be? Why should it be?

There comes a time when you have to leave your abode to make a new start somewhere far away!

He was also compelled to separate.

The day he left, an annoyed silence took over the serenity of the holy home.

He never turned back because he knew that this was what was expected from him.

In the wild forest, he made friends with a few carnivores, learnt their ways, and studied their habits.

For a few years, became one of them!

But the truths you were born with never separate, they are your reality. He spent an altered life but the focus was always there.

The focus of getting to the peak, the focus to exceed!With a good note he ended his association with the predators.

He moved ahead and relaxed for some years on the steep slopes of the mountain. There he befriended the beautiful birds and the magical trees. Loved them and got lots of love in return! Built a small house and planned for a stay while return.

When he moved, the birds accompanied him till a distance. He could sense some tears trying to escape his eyes. But, he didn't cry!

He reached his destination that day, only to realize that his goal wasn't the peak he stepped on, but the one that was way high. For a moment he was heartbroken and servile, until he realized that his goal was never the peak! What he wanted was the riches of experience, love, and friendship. That was attained during the journey.

End just didn't matter anymore.

Everything he wanted came to him, but they came till the moment he kept going.

All the riches of this life belong to us, but they are visible only if we keep on moving and do not resist the change.

“Learn from all you meet, gather knowledge, think, believe, and grow RICH!", said the rich man!

Me, My T100, and the Road to Gokarna!!

“Are you traveling alone?”

“Yes!”

“Again?”

“Ya!”

That was it; my mother seemed to be totally uninterested in having any more sane conversation with me.

I have been trying to find out the reason why she abhors my habit of traveling alone.

A QUICK RECAP OF MY PREVIOUS EXPEDITIONS AND THE REASON BEHIND MY MOTHER’S INTOLERANCE TOWARDS THEM (THE EXPEDITIONS):

I understand that while visiting Shimla, my car was about to crash in the valley in the midnight.

The Gangtok thug took all I had and left me with a few pennies in my pocket (mom had to call for immediate help from one of her relatives who lives in Sikkim). 

The worst of all were the Goa drug peddlers who got hold of me and were about to get me held when my mom called me up (they disguised themselves as hippies selling some ethnic masterpieces, and I was walking towards them while the police were running towards them).

My mom’s phone call was always there with me, everywhere!

She was there reciting her mantras on phone while I was trying to take a reverse u turn on the wet hills of Shimla. I got so scared in that dark night amidst the rain and the forest, that I called my mother to seek her blessings so that I can escape the calamities I bought upon myself (I never knew that I will be reminded of that dreaded night throughout my life).

Of! Course she was the one who arranged money in the distant state of Sikkim, and saved me coincidentally, by calling before I arrived the drug shop.

Oh, I missed one big detail about all these experiences.

I WAS ALONE in the entire journey, every time, everywhere.

And I am about to begin one more, but this time a little more safer, and a bit more rigged up with gadgets and phones.

PRESENT DAYS

Okay, so mom is not receiving my calls, and not responding to my messages too.

But, this is my long planned and awaited trip to Gokarna, Mahabaleshwar. I can’t miss or even re plan it this time. I have visited most of the beaches around Pune and in Goa. The Gokarna beach is special. It is in the shape of OM. I would love to spend sometime there. The temple on the beach is a home of Lord Shiva. It is going to be a pleasure drive from Pune to Gokarna. Hope, my avenger keeps up to its reputation. Never before have I covered six hundred kilometers on a bike.

The best, I am once again alone on this voyage.

Bags packed!

Recheck: medicines, money, ATM cards, clothes, books, route details, GPS, chargers, camera, mobile phone, tool box, petrol backup, and my T100.

Road to Gokarna: The Journey Begins

6:30 AM

Starting the journey early morning (6:30 AM by my watch)! My T100 all charged up and ready to take up notes and post my activities while I am on move. Hope, mom follows my posts regularly. Planning to reach Gokarna by 8 pm tonight!  FB status updated, and a sorry mail dropped to mom. 

& the journey begins.

8:30 AM - Status Update:

I think I have covered around 80 kilometers which is not good, considering that I have to cover around 520 kilometers more in less than twelve hours. I will have to fasten up.

I so want to listen to AC/DC: It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

Time is running out. Need to rush. Anyways, will have to fight the scorching heat! There is no escape.

It’s nine; I should be hitting the road now. But, I want to relax a bit more. The serenity and simplicity of this place is so soothing. I can hear the traffic but the sound is not polluting. Everything is just so calm in its own way. No one rushing to get to a place, no fights, no need to get ahead! Everything is so pure here on the highway.

Time to leave my first halt!

Thanks for providing me the most needed rest. Hope to come back soon.

9:15 AM: My journey continues.

12:30 PM - Status Update:

And as I lie under the huge magical creation of God, every cell of my body feels so blessed! No AC, no comfort, but it still feels better. The dark shade engulfs my spirit and makes me feel alive and close to myself, my inner self. I want to scream and call nature to come and enjoy this feast with me. The two chapattis and boiled pulses, the best meal ever in so many years! I could give everything, any day for the happiness and the bliss that I am in right now! Hope, it stays; and I know hope is a good thing (quoted from Shawshank Redemption).

2:00 pm: About time!

Tasty food and a little nap under the coolest of the shades can transform you into a highly energetic human being; try out someday, you won’t repent. I bet!

My journey starts after a cup of tea. Meet you in sometime.

4:15 PM - Status Update:

This should be my second last halt. According to the map, I have covered around 400 kilometers. Still some 150 kilometers to go! With the setting sun, two things will be evident; one, the drop in temperature (that will be a great relief), and the second, an increase in heavy motor vehicles on the highway. According to my plans, my next stop should be Yellapur. The cup of tea I am having right now should fill me with enough energy to execute my plans. 

Enjoying the journey so far! Neither bored, nor exhausted! And people say, you need to have a companion to make the journey exciting! The journey itself is the companion, who needs more!

4:45 PM: Time to hit the highway! Meet you in sometime.

6:30 PM - Status Update:

A little reroute to have some good snacks at Mumtaz hotel that bestows one of the finest restaurants in Yellapur. I needed this. 

Off with my shoes and socks, and resting in an ac area of the restaurant, waiting for some coffee and snacks. Don’t intend to stuff myself, though I wish to, because I still have some 100 kilometers to cover. Just need to get the energy back. Hope to reach my destination by 9 pm.

7:00 PM: Done with my snacks break. Off to the concluding part of the most happening journey. See you at Gokarna now!

9:45 PM - Status Update:

10:45 PM

Dear T100,

That’s it for the day!

Your presence in my life and this journey is inevitable. I was able to keep my mother and friends informed about my locations and how my journey was facing. Just got a call from mom, and she didn’t seem to be that pissed off as she was before. All cause of you! 

Long way to go friend!

Will login back tomorrow and update the moments as they come to me.

That Beautiful Night...

I remember that beautiful night, filled with twinkle and lights!

It was cause of the sparkle that you had in your eyes.

The night had nothing much to remember and take pride!

 The trees swayed, and the morning birds still sang to make the night alive,

All there to make you smile.

And the night, it thought that all were there to celebrate its delight!

The night that had nothing much to remember and take pride.

Not A Poem IndeeD!

& the only moment when I miss you is the one when I try to regain that stupid skipped breath, 

Else you are always there...making me feel alive...

& if that's still not good enough, my heart seems to realize, 

u know that stupid heart shaped heart,

the one you fell for,

that ijiot (intelligent idiot) wishes for your smile,

& I,

I start falling again,

Last was for you,

Now for myself,

You are so there,

All here, all embedded!!

I AM HAPPY WHEN I FIGHT A WAR EVERYDAY!

I continued walking along the unknown path.

When I was a kid, I was told that I should always be safe, and should consider all possibilities before choosing a path.

I had dodged all those advices to take this path that could lead me to miseries (That pessimistic mind we have!), or give me some charming surprises.

I am pretty sure that if the people from my past, the ones who had the rights to take decision on my behalf, come to know about this, they will try to call me back and guide me towards their trusted paths and destinations; the ones that they had already discovered, tried, and tested.

So, here I am, still walking tall! 

And, there they are too, still trying to call me all along. 

I give them a deaf ear sometimes, and then there are those times when I try to make them understand my rational. Does it change anything? No, not on their end! They still believe the story they told me to be true. I sometimes slow down; you know, the times when you want them to cheer you up! But, I have my own faiths, the ones that I developed myself, the ones that never had their intellect in them; the faiths that keep me running, running towards that flag of my dreams, that beautiful place of my peace, and those moments of my victory!

I crossed them all to realize my meaning of my life, not their meanings of my life!

I broke their trust to gather trust in my soul, my being, and my world; the world that I create, not the one inherited from them.

I turn deaf to their voices, I go blind to their gestures, and when they touch, although I feel it deeply nourishing, I generally get numb!

They want me to be safe, secure, healthy, and alive, with no risk in my life!

It’s hard to explain that the war that I fight every day, makes me happy, renews my life, and makes me feel alive!

The war against ignorance makes me feel alive!

.....called LOVE!

“What if this night never ended?”

“It would be dark and someday we will exhaust all the available power supplies.”

“What if there is no supply as such?”

“It would be dark forever; I might sleep forever!”

“What if you slept forever?”

“I will dream about you forever!”

Rotten!

                                                                   
 Don’t laugh at me,

Don’t curse me either,

Don’t you blame me for the calamities!

Don’t fight me,

Don’t disrupt me,

Don’t you ask me for a drop of the peace I have been searching for!

I feel lost sometimes,

Those are the times when I bury myself,

Bury myself under the heap loneliness and scars,

Thinking, did I lose the peace that I first stood up for!

And there you come once again,

Scream, shout, and laugh again,

Ask me the same questions,

And leave me numb, dumb, and rotten!!

I just feel rotten!!!

THE COLORS

I tried to find the faces there,

Faces hiding behind the holy colors,

Were they gray, were they white,

Or, were they as they say, “The darkness glorified”?

I was beating inside,

Trying to link those crisscross lines,

The boundaries ahead and the ones below,

All colored throughout, thoroughly, in a different human flow.

Why don’t they make sense to me?

As, so easily, they make sense to many!

Why don’t they speak to me, group me, or alienate me?

Why don’t they come up as they come for all; love me, hug me, or hit me till I fall!

Why am I so confused?

Till all of them squall:

  “Why do you want us to get colored in that human doubt?

   Why do you want us to flow segregated of all?

    Look at us, we make sense together,

    Together we rise, and together we fall!”

Yes, TOGETHER THEY RISE, AND TOGETHER THEY FALL!

How I Wonder....

A blank canvas and a few pen strokes,

Some little curves,

And some free flows,

A few shades of grey,

And some dots to emote,

If this is how I create,
 I wonder, how you do so....