I AM YOU!!

I walked through the storms, holding you in my hand,

For the love, I have, the pains never count,

You are me, and I am you,

Between us, there is no adieu!

I still remember the day:

Mid of the way; they taunted,

The taunts screamed in your ears more than they could,

They forced, and you stopped, and made me stop too.

You asked me to be ripped off, which made me aghast

Why, I asked, 

The why, which you never replied to,

Is still there and haunts me, whenever I feel you.

Dark as I was, and darker as they showed,

Blinded the vision you had, I suppose,

You tried to hide, get away from me,

But there were no reasons that I could foresee!

I was destined to be with you,

If not you, no need of me,

I came from you, I merged in you, I lived in you, and wanted to die with you.

Though dark, as they found me to be,

I am you, and you are me!

The sounds, the shrieks, the pain, and the pleads,

You gave in to all,

Tried to escape from me! 

 I am dark, that is how I should be,

Dark as death and death resides in me,

Hence, I took your plea,

And deprived you of what you should be!

Till then, I was fluxed in you,

Now, you are the one, who looks up to me,

Still, will carry you in my arms,

As, I am you and you are me!

(Got a little inspired from "Bhala Bura" song from the movie "Aks"! But it turned out to be a lot different from what I expected! If you read it, try to emote. For instance: an evil laugh after the line "Tried to escape from me!", and then continue with an arrogant voice.)

This is not one, but many!

2012 has seen me in great despair.

There was a lot I wanted to talk, but most of the times I lost the words which would have helped me to mouth my emotions. I suddenly started losing my way with the rhymes. Started finding it really difficult to write, or even to express.

Who has been stopping me, or rather what has been stopping me from doing what I love the most?

John Denver’s “Poems, prayers and promises”, no longer is playing in the background anymore!

Am I too done with this existence? Am I left with nothing to remember and be grateful of?

Are there no more sufferings which trouble me? Are there no pains which make me feel alive?

It is nothing of that sort happening with me!

I still feel happy to see all the lovely people around me. They still make me happy and provide the beautiful moments which bloom into an endlessly large flower as time fleets by. She still sits with me as she used to, talks to me as she used to do. We still fight like the school kids. Moments are still there but the vision has gone translucent towards them. Time has replaced the life in it. First I used to feel it, now I just pass by it!

Things still make me uncomfortable. They are always around, and need one chance to make me feel terrible about myself. But it is that, I have stopped feeling!

How can I write without feeling things?

I need to get back into my old shoes which made me sing a song with every moment passing by!