2012 has seen me in great despair.
There was a lot I wanted to talk, but most of the times I lost the words which would have helped me to mouth my emotions. I suddenly started losing my way with the rhymes. Started finding it really difficult to write, or even to express.
Who has been stopping me, or rather what has been stopping me from doing what I love the most?
John Denver’s “Poems, prayers and promises”, no longer is playing in the background anymore!
Am I too done with this existence? Am I left with nothing to remember and be grateful of?
Are there no more sufferings which trouble me? Are there no pains which make me feel alive?
It is nothing of that sort happening with me!
I still feel happy to see all the lovely people around me. They still make me happy and provide the beautiful moments which bloom into an endlessly large flower as time fleets by. She still sits with me as she used to, talks to me as she used to do. We still fight like the school kids. Moments are still there but the vision has gone translucent towards them. Time has replaced the life in it. First I used to feel it, now I just pass by it!
Things still make me uncomfortable. They are always around, and need one chance to make me feel terrible about myself. But it is that, I have stopped feeling!
How can I write without feeling things?
I need to get back into my old shoes which made me sing a song with every moment passing by!