Jul 21, 2010

WHAT IF?--> 1: Al Pacino plays Alan in Jumanji



This will be the start and I hope to continue posting the “What ifs” regularly.

A movie buff as I am and many others whom I encounter on regular basis have these vivid and wild imaginations

about substituting the characters in a movie

by other league of actors. So, carrying on the same “What if he/she played this role?” here in the post and so

me more to come by.


ROBIN WILLIAMS replaced by AL PACINO in JUMANJI


Provided the story remained the same, the dialogue writer and the screenplay writer would have needed to do some high class extra work.


EXAMPLE (changes in a few dialogues and situations of Alan Parrish, who was originally played by Robin Williams)


Original: You think that mosquitoes, monkeys, and lions are bad? That is just the beginning. I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even imagine. Things you haven't even see.


Revised (for Al): You think that mosquitoes, monkeys and lions are bad? Fuck, no! That is just the fucking beginning. I have seen things you have only seen in your fucking nightmare. Things you can’t even imagine and things you can’t even see, you motherfuckers… dickheads….


Of! Course Al will be as pissed off as he was in Glengarry Glen Ross, Scarface or even in And Justice for All. There would have been no mercy shown on the kids.


Original: Beware of the ground you stand, the floor is quicker than the sand. (Reading one of the game’s dogmas)


Revised: Beware of the ground you stand, the floor is quicker than the sand. The game is fucking with my brain. Game, don’t fuck with my brain. I don’t like people fucking with my brain. You are disemboweling me psychologically. Don’t fuck with my brain.


Alan (Al) shouts at the game (like how Al shouted in Chinese Coffee) while his feet start to sink in the mystic sand. He keeps on shouting at it rather than figuring out what to do next. The next moves are devised by other characters.


Original: When, Sarah Whittle says: I knew this was going to be a bad day.

Alan replies: Hey, come on, you'll be fine. We just have to keep our heads. Roll with the punches.


Revised: Alan replies: Listen girl, there are two kinds of people, those who can stand and face the music and those who can run for cover. You are fucking not allowed for the second so, better, get fucked!


Alan supposedly in love with the girl doesn’t show any empathy because he is angry of how the world has changed in the span he was not around. Everything seems to be more than as corrupt as it was during the times of Serpico.


Hence the story would have moved with lots of anger and abuses, finally getting a ’+13’ and being the first movie made for children but not allowed for the children who could really enjoy it.


So I go by the choice of Joe Johnston, Robin was the best he could ever find!



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