1 Akela (Lonely)

I start writing after giving the keyboard a little friendly blow.

Dust has been ghosting my laptop’s keyboard for a long time now. I don’t remember the last time when I thought of writing something.

It is not that I am clear about what I have to write now. I just need to write something.

How enthralling it used to be, to stay alone and not be lonely!

Now it is different; I first get lonely before being alone.

Loneliness doesn't hurt me, but it somehow starts feeding on my physical self. 

Then I realize how important the people and their presence are!

I still can take care of myself, no extra effort required. I was so used to it before, it is still there! You know, you don’t lose what you get used to.

But, their presence adds that necessary spice to my somewhat bland life in which I work, I drink, I pray, I curse, I think, and I die!

Fakir, you were right my friend!

They do complete my existence.

There will be a no win, no loss situation without them,

How hysterical will be life without them!

MIRROR

Mirrors, they have this all abundant habit of making you feel wrong, and the day you start speaking it out, the bloody fucked up mirror cracks into pieces.

You feel sad for it but no need to be. This is good! It is called awareness. You are not here to act like an adhesive. It’s nice to break them to make them realize that they are bloody broken pieces of glasses glued together.

I never intervened in your damned mirrored life.

Why the hell did you come for me?

What I have was destined. It wasn't cause of you showing me my image in yourself. If not you, some other mirror could have got my glimpse.

Remember, whoever you are, you are a mirror. A fucked up imitator!

Do not intend to become me when you are not even close to it.

And now, you come up and fight for your existence!

You, who got a reason because of me?

You come to fight for your existence from me?

Go, get lost!

Get submerged in your stupid self.

Go and try to think that you give meaning to someone’s life!

I am done with you.

You bloody mirror!

The NEW SUN rises TODAY!

It is really hard to fight them!

They are all around you, looking for a tiny space to enter you and get it all corrupted once and for all.

You are there alone, standing, waiting for the beautiful dawn, but they are quick.

You are still busy with a hope to find it all and they deceive you, dupe you, and start ruling your being!

Those filthy things! They are everywhere!

You hate them, but still you have them. You permit them to eat you up. They feed on you because you feed yourself to them.

You need to come out of it today!

Yes, today is the day. No other day can be better than today!

THE NEW SUN RISES TODAY!

A Dear Need!

I so need to come back to blogging.

Years ago, when my English wasn't that correct, and when my thoughts were more than a lot, writing blogs was the only sigh of relief/freedom!

Now, I just miss the words altogether!

I don't know how to communicate to a blank page anymore!

Wait a minute!

Am I coming back to my true self yet again?

Are the Fakir and the Rasputin going to confuse me yet again?

How about a second edition of MORAF's Journal?

That was a quick peek into the past posts of Life's Lovely Cradle!

Hope to make many more of such memories; and did I quote this before "HOPE IS A REALLY GOOD THING"!

How About Resting a Bit?

How about resting a bit?

Talking to me for a minute, and speaking what you wanted to speak all these days, but no one ever heard it!

Or, something stopped you from telling it!

You want to know my story?

Okay, here I say what I want to say!

“I sometimes lie to make things easier for me. The intentions are always harmless; yeah, they are self centered, but harmless. I just want to avoid the truth for a moment, and end up screwing some other truths that might not have needed my avoiding!

 I know I do this!”

Today my guardian/guiding angel made me remember something.

She said, “There can be a few mistakes that you did without thinking of harming anyone and you can be very sure that you did not harm anyone. But, you might have harmed someone, somewhere! You might have taken a wrong turn that encouraged some other person, take his wrong turn that eventually would have killed a very innocent man.”

Life can be miraculous or tragic, everything depends on the way we align ourselves.

So, do you have something to say?

A Rich Man on the Move

In him they found a great friend, guide, and teacher.

Life is never easy. How can it be? Why should it be?

There comes a time when you have to leave your abode to make a new start somewhere far away!

He was also compelled to separate.

The day he left, an annoyed silence took over the serenity of the holy home.

He never turned back because he knew that this was what was expected from him.

In the wild forest, he made friends with a few carnivores, learnt their ways, and studied their habits.

For a few years, became one of them!

But the truths you were born with never separate, they are your reality. He spent an altered life but the focus was always there.

The focus of getting to the peak, the focus to exceed!With a good note he ended his association with the predators.

He moved ahead and relaxed for some years on the steep slopes of the mountain. There he befriended the beautiful birds and the magical trees. Loved them and got lots of love in return! Built a small house and planned for a stay while return.

When he moved, the birds accompanied him till a distance. He could sense some tears trying to escape his eyes. But, he didn't cry!

He reached his destination that day, only to realize that his goal wasn't the peak he stepped on, but the one that was way high. For a moment he was heartbroken and servile, until he realized that his goal was never the peak! What he wanted was the riches of experience, love, and friendship. That was attained during the journey.

End just didn't matter anymore.

Everything he wanted came to him, but they came till the moment he kept going.

All the riches of this life belong to us, but they are visible only if we keep on moving and do not resist the change.

“Learn from all you meet, gather knowledge, think, believe, and grow RICH!", said the rich man!

Me, My T100, and the Road to Gokarna!!

“Are you traveling alone?”

“Yes!”

“Again?”

“Ya!”

That was it; my mother seemed to be totally uninterested in having any more sane conversation with me.

I have been trying to find out the reason why she abhors my habit of traveling alone.

A QUICK RECAP OF MY PREVIOUS EXPEDITIONS AND THE REASON BEHIND MY MOTHER’S INTOLERANCE TOWARDS THEM (THE EXPEDITIONS):

I understand that while visiting Shimla, my car was about to crash in the valley in the midnight.

The Gangtok thug took all I had and left me with a few pennies in my pocket (mom had to call for immediate help from one of her relatives who lives in Sikkim). 

The worst of all were the Goa drug peddlers who got hold of me and were about to get me held when my mom called me up (they disguised themselves as hippies selling some ethnic masterpieces, and I was walking towards them while the police were running towards them).

My mom’s phone call was always there with me, everywhere!

She was there reciting her mantras on phone while I was trying to take a reverse u turn on the wet hills of Shimla. I got so scared in that dark night amidst the rain and the forest, that I called my mother to seek her blessings so that I can escape the calamities I bought upon myself (I never knew that I will be reminded of that dreaded night throughout my life).

Of! Course she was the one who arranged money in the distant state of Sikkim, and saved me coincidentally, by calling before I arrived the drug shop.

Oh, I missed one big detail about all these experiences.

I WAS ALONE in the entire journey, every time, everywhere.

And I am about to begin one more, but this time a little more safer, and a bit more rigged up with gadgets and phones.

PRESENT DAYS

Okay, so mom is not receiving my calls, and not responding to my messages too.

But, this is my long planned and awaited trip to Gokarna, Mahabaleshwar. I can’t miss or even re plan it this time. I have visited most of the beaches around Pune and in Goa. The Gokarna beach is special. It is in the shape of OM. I would love to spend sometime there. The temple on the beach is a home of Lord Shiva. It is going to be a pleasure drive from Pune to Gokarna. Hope, my avenger keeps up to its reputation. Never before have I covered six hundred kilometers on a bike.

The best, I am once again alone on this voyage.

Bags packed!

Recheck: medicines, money, ATM cards, clothes, books, route details, GPS, chargers, camera, mobile phone, tool box, petrol backup, and my T100.

Road to Gokarna: The Journey Begins

6:30 AM

Starting the journey early morning (6:30 AM by my watch)! My T100 all charged up and ready to take up notes and post my activities while I am on move. Hope, mom follows my posts regularly. Planning to reach Gokarna by 8 pm tonight!  FB status updated, and a sorry mail dropped to mom. 

& the journey begins.

8:30 AM - Status Update:

I think I have covered around 80 kilometers which is not good, considering that I have to cover around 520 kilometers more in less than twelve hours. I will have to fasten up.

I so want to listen to AC/DC: It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

Time is running out. Need to rush. Anyways, will have to fight the scorching heat! There is no escape.

It’s nine; I should be hitting the road now. But, I want to relax a bit more. The serenity and simplicity of this place is so soothing. I can hear the traffic but the sound is not polluting. Everything is just so calm in its own way. No one rushing to get to a place, no fights, no need to get ahead! Everything is so pure here on the highway.

Time to leave my first halt!

Thanks for providing me the most needed rest. Hope to come back soon.

9:15 AM: My journey continues.

12:30 PM - Status Update:

And as I lie under the huge magical creation of God, every cell of my body feels so blessed! No AC, no comfort, but it still feels better. The dark shade engulfs my spirit and makes me feel alive and close to myself, my inner self. I want to scream and call nature to come and enjoy this feast with me. The two chapattis and boiled pulses, the best meal ever in so many years! I could give everything, any day for the happiness and the bliss that I am in right now! Hope, it stays; and I know hope is a good thing (quoted from Shawshank Redemption).

2:00 pm: About time!

Tasty food and a little nap under the coolest of the shades can transform you into a highly energetic human being; try out someday, you won’t repent. I bet!

My journey starts after a cup of tea. Meet you in sometime.

4:15 PM - Status Update:

This should be my second last halt. According to the map, I have covered around 400 kilometers. Still some 150 kilometers to go! With the setting sun, two things will be evident; one, the drop in temperature (that will be a great relief), and the second, an increase in heavy motor vehicles on the highway. According to my plans, my next stop should be Yellapur. The cup of tea I am having right now should fill me with enough energy to execute my plans. 

Enjoying the journey so far! Neither bored, nor exhausted! And people say, you need to have a companion to make the journey exciting! The journey itself is the companion, who needs more!

4:45 PM: Time to hit the highway! Meet you in sometime.

6:30 PM - Status Update:

A little reroute to have some good snacks at Mumtaz hotel that bestows one of the finest restaurants in Yellapur. I needed this. 

Off with my shoes and socks, and resting in an ac area of the restaurant, waiting for some coffee and snacks. Don’t intend to stuff myself, though I wish to, because I still have some 100 kilometers to cover. Just need to get the energy back. Hope to reach my destination by 9 pm.

7:00 PM: Done with my snacks break. Off to the concluding part of the most happening journey. See you at Gokarna now!

9:45 PM - Status Update:

10:45 PM

Dear T100,

That’s it for the day!

Your presence in my life and this journey is inevitable. I was able to keep my mother and friends informed about my locations and how my journey was facing. Just got a call from mom, and she didn’t seem to be that pissed off as she was before. All cause of you! 

Long way to go friend!

Will login back tomorrow and update the moments as they come to me.

That Beautiful Night...

I remember that beautiful night, filled with twinkle and lights!

It was cause of the sparkle that you had in your eyes.

The night had nothing much to remember and take pride!

 The trees swayed, and the morning birds still sang to make the night alive,

All there to make you smile.

And the night, it thought that all were there to celebrate its delight!

The night that had nothing much to remember and take pride.

Not A Poem IndeeD!

& the only moment when I miss you is the one when I try to regain that stupid skipped breath, 

Else you are always there...making me feel alive...

& if that's still not good enough, my heart seems to realize, 

u know that stupid heart shaped heart,

the one you fell for,

that ijiot (intelligent idiot) wishes for your smile,

& I,

I start falling again,

Last was for you,

Now for myself,

You are so there,

All here, all embedded!!

I AM HAPPY WHEN I FIGHT A WAR EVERYDAY!

I continued walking along the unknown path.

When I was a kid, I was told that I should always be safe, and should consider all possibilities before choosing a path.

I had dodged all those advices to take this path that could lead me to miseries (That pessimistic mind we have!), or give me some charming surprises.

I am pretty sure that if the people from my past, the ones who had the rights to take decision on my behalf, come to know about this, they will try to call me back and guide me towards their trusted paths and destinations; the ones that they had already discovered, tried, and tested.

So, here I am, still walking tall! 

And, there they are too, still trying to call me all along. 

I give them a deaf ear sometimes, and then there are those times when I try to make them understand my rational. Does it change anything? No, not on their end! They still believe the story they told me to be true. I sometimes slow down; you know, the times when you want them to cheer you up! But, I have my own faiths, the ones that I developed myself, the ones that never had their intellect in them; the faiths that keep me running, running towards that flag of my dreams, that beautiful place of my peace, and those moments of my victory!

I crossed them all to realize my meaning of my life, not their meanings of my life!

I broke their trust to gather trust in my soul, my being, and my world; the world that I create, not the one inherited from them.

I turn deaf to their voices, I go blind to their gestures, and when they touch, although I feel it deeply nourishing, I generally get numb!

They want me to be safe, secure, healthy, and alive, with no risk in my life!

It’s hard to explain that the war that I fight every day, makes me happy, renews my life, and makes me feel alive!

The war against ignorance makes me feel alive!

.....called LOVE!

“What if this night never ended?”

“It would be dark and someday we will exhaust all the available power supplies.”

“What if there is no supply as such?”

“It would be dark forever; I might sleep forever!”

“What if you slept forever?”

“I will dream about you forever!”

Rotten!

                                                                   
 Don’t laugh at me,

Don’t curse me either,

Don’t you blame me for the calamities!

Don’t fight me,

Don’t disrupt me,

Don’t you ask me for a drop of the peace I have been searching for!

I feel lost sometimes,

Those are the times when I bury myself,

Bury myself under the heap loneliness and scars,

Thinking, did I lose the peace that I first stood up for!

And there you come once again,

Scream, shout, and laugh again,

Ask me the same questions,

And leave me numb, dumb, and rotten!!

I just feel rotten!!!

THE COLORS

I tried to find the faces there,

Faces hiding behind the holy colors,

Were they gray, were they white,

Or, were they as they say, “The darkness glorified”?

I was beating inside,

Trying to link those crisscross lines,

The boundaries ahead and the ones below,

All colored throughout, thoroughly, in a different human flow.

Why don’t they make sense to me?

As, so easily, they make sense to many!

Why don’t they speak to me, group me, or alienate me?

Why don’t they come up as they come for all; love me, hug me, or hit me till I fall!

Why am I so confused?

Till all of them squall:

  “Why do you want us to get colored in that human doubt?

   Why do you want us to flow segregated of all?

    Look at us, we make sense together,

    Together we rise, and together we fall!”

Yes, TOGETHER THEY RISE, AND TOGETHER THEY FALL!

How I Wonder....

A blank canvas and a few pen strokes,

Some little curves,

And some free flows,

A few shades of grey,

And some dots to emote,

If this is how I create,
 I wonder, how you do so....

RANDOMNESS with MR. DEEDS

I have started jotting down my feelings to stay in touch with them always! 

One other attempt to grow better!

WITH 

 

Watching Mr. Deeds. One movie out of the many that makes me wish, if only I were in the protagonist's shoes. And what more should I wish for if the chief protagonist is one of my favorites Adam Sandler.

Forwarded to the scene where manager of Mr Deeds uncle's company comes to visit him. 

He is being told about how his billionaire uncle (unknown to Deeds left a mighty fortune for him). Whatever I write from here on is what feelings are surpassing my mind while I watch this beautiful movie.

P.S. (pre-script): This can't be a movie review, I think! So don't come sabotaging me about something that I wrote, which according to you is not correct!

It is just a visit made to my RANDOM thoughts!

1.   Why can't I fake sick in my regular job, and be taken as casually as Murph here. Arghhhh!! I so envy this pizza delivery guy here. He looks so joyous and satisfied just cause he has nice people around him. I am not against my life in any sense. I intend to make it better. All who are around me are beautiful and lovely. No doubt about that! *END*

2.    Want to learn and use the word "Touché". It  means acknowledging someone else's point that was made at your own expense. Nice little expression!
"Touché everyone!"

Ha ha ha! Wasn't that a nice one!

3.    I am so thinking of having a thought board for myself in my house. Deeds greeting card's board made me realize this. And yes, I would love to write a few getting cards myself. This online thing has crashed and cursed the card business somewhere. But still, emotions in words can't be ignored. Let it be nineteenth century or twenty first!

4.    "To my sweetheart, I love you completely with all my soul, without you I am nothing, a butter less role."
Wasn't that wonderful!
How can someone laugh at that?
Anyways, if this was in real and not in reel, and if I were the editor of hallmark cards, Deeds would have broken all existing records with this card. No other Valentine's day message for the next ten years!

Note: I can't keep on penning whatever I feel. So, I will wait for something that makes me subtle and stable!

5.    Want to say this to someone sometime: " Handshakes are for strangers, we hug around here buddy!" And make someone feel special. :D

6.   Deeds reading his card and people screaming his name. Come on, I want that role!! That's me altogether. :D

7.    "I promise to love you for 50 years more, even when your bosoms sag down to the floor!" Applauds everywhere for a happy man! Happiness is contemporary! Why I say that; cause it changes from time now to time then. What makes me happy is Deeds, not because the character was enacted by Adam, but cause the character is happy! The character has SPACE of his own, RECOGNITION of his own, and WEALTH of his own!

8.    How is being rich going to hamper your daily deals? If you love something, no money is big enough! (Deeds delivering pizzas after inheriting millions of dollars.)

9.     Go with what everyone wishes! Accept them as they are! This will help them to accept you as you are. Finally, you are the one who ends up making your life simple and lovable.

10.   How will it feel if an entire town comes to bid you farewell??? Rich and happy!!! Let me quote a line from the Deeds farewell card: "While I am gone, I know, I will miss you all a lot!"

11.   If you are happy and funny, you can make everyone around you smile and laugh! Inspired from Deeds Trip from Mandrakes fall to New York!
Nicest!

12.   Babe is a historic representation of the girl who has got the ability to let most of the stupid guys bend down to her charm.  And the story of hers where she blows her entire salary on shoes is....Yuck* 300000... still not enough..... Although I behold curly hair too, I have not messed my life for someone like her. I have experiences of other kinds of messy girls!

13.   Deeds comes to know that he owns a football team and he says, "It sucks!" I don't reverberate here Deeds. I would love to own a team.

14.   We don't need to be servant, we should be friends! Don't hit the chord there. I live in a country where people live to get considered as a servant.

15.   You don't need to be labeled by where you belong! You are, what you are! No cloth can decide your life! (Deeds enters a big business meeting in his super casual attire.)

16.    When you do right, you do right! Let all of then go!

17.    Enjoy and celebrate those small moments like an ECHO!!!!

18.   Abba, the band! Loll! I was in love with this band a few years ago. Would love to relive my passion and love for music.

19.   Would love to use 'wicked' as an adverb to describe every 'wicked' adjective around.

20.   You ought to save yourself from the people who mock you! Diaper therapy! You need to be stable. But how long, Deeds is great while he beats them to ashes. (The restaurant scene where a few top notch socials make fun of Deeds.)

21.    I love the attention that Deeds got! Funeral scene... :o....:D.....

22.   Oh my god... The best scene. (Editing this after some 24 hours, do don't remember which got me to react like that. :D.)

23.   Thanks Dr Pepper to be around.

24.   You can be something someday if you really want to! Thanks Mr Deeds.

25.   Discontinued here on! You need to be alone to do all such crazy stuff! 

If you read this, thanks for staying till the end. Loll!!!

CHENNAI EXPRESS: MY JOURNEY

PS (PRE-SCRIPT): This isn't a movie review!


Started at 930 for 1030 show!

The multiplex is just a fifteen minutes drive from my home. Imagine the excitement. 

And why not? 

Will be experiencing the real SRK after a period. Ra.One and JTHJ stole him from his real fans.

There are two types of romance:
1. The old book style
2. The SRK style.

Ages since I experienced the second.

Enough of all the sci-fi and the dramas. We want (at least I want) the old SRK back with his smart sense of humor and cupid love!

Not much of a Deepika fan!

Rohit Shetty is one hell of an entertainer (minus Bol Bachchan). I am sure the combo can't disappoint the viewers. Talking more about Shetty; let's not measure his sanity, let's count his hits. That's what really counts, correct? How many times can you watch Singham, and how many times Paan Singh Tomar? Do I answer the question? Want to clear that I had no intention to insult the wonderful movie (PST). It was just a comparison between commercial and parallel worlds of cinema.

45 minutes away from boarding the Chennai Express! A big crowd awaits even though, it is the second last show of the day. 10:30pm is not that young time of the night, and then when you are aware that you might be leaving the theater somewhere around 1 in the midnight.

And the countdown begins: ....

Nope! As usual E square had kept some cards close to it's chest! Suddenly they have changed the start time from 10:30 pm to 10:45 pm. 

Someone please screw them.

Not now! Not Now! After a month or so. :) 

Chennai Express has lot to do and more than a lot to break at the Box Office. Every single theater counts; forget the theater, every single ticket counts!

And more than anything, Every Single Fan Counts!!

Can see people from the last show leaving. A few escaped from the front door. Nice, happy faces! 

Think, SRK has made up to all of them after the disappointment each of us faced cause of JTHJ.

Three minutes to go!

People are ecstatic! Hope the energy and the sacrifice (our sleep after the full day job) pays.

Missed writing while Chennai Express played.


So, here are my honest feelings:


1. SRK is still the heartthrob. The wild uproar of the crowd was enough to prove this. There were even some whistle fights, which happened whenever some punches hit the movie screen.

2. Rohit Shetty is a big fan of SRK himself, and Chennai Express is a homage to the idol of Bollywood Romance.

3. Deepika cannot be ignored. She matches pace of the iconic star.

4. You tend to forget most, but do take away a few back with you. What more can you expect from a complete commercial flick?

5. Last fifteen minutes of second half seem to be a little too lengthy, but then you can ignore fifteen out of a 150 minutes long movie.


Hilarious of all : Watch out for these:


1. The train scene: "ab mujhe bahut gussa dila di" (you have made me extremely angry now).

2. When SRK gets drunk and insults everyone, starting with Deepika.

3. Encounter with the Srilankan smugglers & The Life Pie dialog.

4. The fight and patch up between SRK and Deepika after they run away from Deepika's father's village.

5. "Don't underestimate the power of a halwawaala."

6. SRK and Deepika bed scene (nothing A about it). One of the funniest moments of the movie.

7. All the scenes featuring a mixed-matched "antakchari" between SRK and Deepika.

 
I know, though it is an SRK movie, I haven't listed any of his romantic scenes (and yes, I started with expecting an SRK romance comeback).

But, that's the magic of Chennai Express. It showcases SRK's funny bone more than his romance.

And, SRK, like the old days, excels as a charmer!

(To everyone who has asked SRK to do something different, isn't this different? BTW, I heard a few more comments in which people has asked SRK to start taking risks as he used to do before! I seriously feel that they are the ones who had asked him before to stop doing the same thing again and again. Look, no one cares for what they think, but at least have some spine when you speak. Don't get muddled up, just to prove your points.)


Watch Chennai Express to forget the world for a bit, at the least.

Watch it to experience star power of one of the biggest superstars of this century.

R & F : Back After a Decade

Rasputin: He again called us; once again to share his pains, sorrows, and incompetency!

Fakir: Come on! Aren’t we here for that?

Rasputin: I am not! You might be! He kicked us out of his life.

Fakir: Did he?

Rasputin: Why are you asking me? You too were thrown away.

Fakir: I was always there with him, a little calm this time as I found that he is taking right decisions.

Rasputin: What right decisions? He was sacrificing everything he wanted to have.

Fakir: No! He was doing the correct thing!

Rasputin: Okay! Is it? Then why is he back? You will have to agree with me. He wanted none of these. He wanted what we know he still wants, but can we steer him anymore?

Fakir: I know he wants something else from life, and he will be there once he is done with what he is doing now.

Rasputin: This is not going to end, Fakir!

Fakir: You are again taking the wrong loop. I never said that he should end any of the things that are making his physical life easier. He has to put a full stop to the ones that are making him reluctant to approach his destiny.  

Rasputin: I agree, but how? Can he even think about it when he has no thoughts left?

Fakir: His thoughts are always alive! Let him crave for them to become visible. He loves analogy, compares, and contrasts; let him understand how a desert feels about flood! Let him rise, let him rise again!

Rasputin: I hope!

I AM STILL HERE.....PART 1

You were there I suppose looking out for me,

Brilliant eyed, constant mind,

Every sense possessed by thee…

You preyed on me,

It was your domain.

But I opine not the same,

I still have things to fight for,

A freedom, soul, survival, and dreams to crave….

I still have things to live for,

       I still have my dreams to crave….

   
       I still have my dreams to crave….